Sunday, February 6, 2011

Heat Wave - ski

Heat Wave – ski….. 7/2/11

On a post punting experience high, I decided to take on the mighty Avon again this weekend when the 35+ degree heat sent me in search of large bodies of water…

Still in the upright position after a 90km bike ride in souring temperatures I moved on thirsty for adventure.

My unsuspecting, ever ready accomplice humoured me with her company and enthusiasm. Dropping everything, (a midday G and T) we raced off to her lock up to make worthy two of her superfluous material items languishing there.

In our haste and bustling of large floating items into her recreational vehicle she unwittingly left the life jacket on. She wondered at the curious attention she was garnering from oncoming motorists at the vision of her overheated, excitable self slumped over the wheel wedged in between wave ski boards.

We made our surreptitious entry at Millbrook Reserve. Packing lightly to match our spontaneous moods, we took only one bottle of water, an already opened bag of Copper Kettle Fries, small amounts of cash, several leaves of *toilet paper, two iphones and a single car key. The phones and key were carefully encased in a plastic sandwich bag.

After witnessing other revellers on the Avon it was decided that we ignore the advice from the all knowing related teen about excessively high bacteria levels and enter the dodgy waters regardless.

Gingerly and gracefully we plopped into the sludgy depths forever staining our stylish boating shoes. Summer smocks ruched to the waist we sat aloft our boards utilising our Pilates cores to the maximum. Off we went verbally high fiving each other at our attainment of quietude.

The river snaked its way around Hagley Park bottoming out in places forcing us to stand on occasion but most of the time we used the paddle to guide more than propel. After about an hour of serenity I began to lose interest in the near inertia and wondered where the end was.

Anticipating a food or beverage stop I reached for my plastic bag only to find to our joint horror it missing. After groping myself all over under my lifejacket like a teen in search of first base, I came to the terrifying conclusion that I had dropped the unsealed bag with both our phones and car key in the drink.

Hot, bothered, and dejected we dumped my vessel as I combed the river from the banks while my accomplice; a study of patience and acceptance, did the same from the river.

Faster on foot but slower of mind, I battled the inner skirmish taking place in my stomach and accompanying highway to my *bowel. This was due to the dodgy yoghurt I had ingested earlier. Cheeks clenched through the intestinal surges I moped my way back through the botanical gardens zigging and zagging where necessary over the river in a futile search for the by now sodden electronics.

Periodically I looked back to see my trusty accomplice leisurely swaying upstream, perfectly composed in the near heat wave conditions unperturbed by the turn of events.
Her calmness gave her clarity and she suggested we go back and look where I had stood up, enabling a slipping through of the precious cargo.

I reluctantly plodded on like a sulky toddler still strapped into my lifejacket, having giving up self comfort and pride in one fell swoop. Back at the low lying area past the Harper Avenue Bridge I spotted the bag easily in the shallows. Euphoric and still hopeful I bounded over Labrador-like and fetched the bag out. On the banks, I emptied out the contents and held the dripping phones up to light fully expecting them to go when I pressed the power button.

Crestfallen, I trudged back to announce my find. After over two hours of paddling my accomplice finally ditched her boat and we walked briskly back to the car still giggling despite our predicament and our ridiculous outfits.

The car miraculously started and transported us back to the comfort, reality and the wonderful teen who promised to clean up our mess of boats left deserted at Hagley Park.

Mustering up the remainder of my failing strength, I ascended the dizzying heights of the inviting couch and succumbed to the languor it promised…..


  1. omg. thank god for insurance. you troopers you!!! was that the every sparkling Ms K with you?

    love d xxx